Happiness
by Thre3
Summary: Kate finally says what she needs to say about her feelings for Castle...
1. I Love Him

**Disclaimer**: Don't own Castle

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Kate sat alone in her apartment eating Chinese food out of a carton. She had been pondering the type of relationship she had with Rick. For the time she had been thinking about it, Kate had been in denial about something. She refused to say anything out loud but every though about it was getting to her now. Kate was feeling overwhelmed, like she need to tell someone, anyone.

She held her fork up to her mouth to take one more bite but stopped herself when her cell rang. She enthusiastically lunged for her table and picked up the phone.

"Beckett," she said.

"Wow, girl. You sound happy? Am I interupting something?" Lanie's voice came through the phone. Kate listened to the background noise. All she could hear was

"Are ypou busy right now?" she asked quickly.

"Well thats why I'm calling,"

"Can I come over?" Kate asked, again very quickly.

"Well, I was just about to invite you & tell you to wear something nice becau-"

"Great. I really need to talk to you," Kate walked to her bedroom and started going through her closet.

"Girl, can it wait? I'm in the middle of-" Lanie was interupted once again by Kate's speed talking.

"Lanie please, I need to get this off my chest. Why do I need to wear something nice?" she asked as she held one of her tops up to her chest to see how it looked in a mirror.

"I was trying to exlpain that-"

"It doesn't matter. Just tell me when I get there. Be there in 20. Thanks so much, bye."

And just like that, Kate hung up her phone and got dressed to go to Lanie's.

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When she arrived outside Lanie's door, Kate heard people talking and the only voice she recognised was Espo's. She thought that maybe there was still a chance for the two of them and smiled to herself.

_Hope I'm not interupting anything. _She thought to herself as Lanie answered the door.

"Kate, hey! Come on in," Lanie opened the door wide enough to let Kate in, but not wide enough to reveal to Kate who Espo was talking to.

"Lanie," Kate quickly walked into the apartment and dragged Lanie to her kitchen, still completely unaware of who Lanie had over for company.

"Ow," Lanie said as Kate pulled her arm, "Kate what?"

"I love him." she said abruptly, "Lanie, I love him," she repeated, this time more slowly.

"What? Who?" Lanie wasn't thinking when she spoke and as soon as she had she wished she'd said something worthwhile. She took a deep breath and spoke again, "Why are you telling me?"

"Because I need to tell somebody who isn't him,"

"You don't want him to know about this?" Lanie asked with confusion, "If so then i suggest you sto-"

"I want him to know eventually, but I need to tell _someone_ now," she explained, slowly pacing Lanie's kitchen.

"But Kate, I don't think-"

"Lanie," Beckett said with warning. Lanie held her hands up in surrender and looked on in worry at Kate continuing what she had to say.

"Girl-" this time Kate didn't even speak, she simply gave Lanie a sharp look causing her to relax her shoulders and stop talking.

"I just don't want to sound too corny when I tell him, you know. I've been thinking about it quite a lot you know."

All Lanie could do anymore was nod.

"He's my partner and I just always feel safe with him there. I just know I can rely on him to always be there Lanie. I know I have felt this way about other people but this time is just different,"

"Girl, saying that you love Castle is like saying the sun is a star. Everyone knows it and everyone _has _known it for a really long time," Lanie said with an eyeroll.

"I kind of like what we have going on though. Its like a friendship that I can never really lose or shrug off. I like that, you know. I mean sure I was afraid of losing what we had before but nothing's diferent really," she paused, "Well yeah it is different. Its a whole lot more...fun," she chuckled which earned a smile from Lanie, followed by another eyeroll.

Lanie crossed her arms and waited for Kate to continue. Neither one of the women had noticed that Lanie's entire apartment had gone quiet when Kate had started talking and neither one of them knew that she had an audience listening to Kate.

"He makes me feel happy," Kate said after long silence, "Yes, a lot of things make me feel happy but with him its different. It's kind of weird actually.

"We don't need to go into detail about what happens when you get happy," Lanie turned away to hide her smile.

"Shut up," Kate said in a sing song voice, "I feel like I've been talking a lot but I haven't actually said anything,"

"Believe me, you've said enough," Lanie laughed.

"But its just words," she shrugged, "How do I tell him?"

"Chika, I do believe you just did," Kate and Lanie turned to see Espo, Ryan, Castle and Jenny all standing outside the kitchen. It was then that it dawned on Kate who Lanie's company was.

"Kate, as I was trying to tell you, I've decided to have you guys over tonight," Lanie said with a wide smile.

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**A/N**: This is a result of my boredom right before I go head first into my final year of school. Its a tad corny but cut me some slack, I'm trying to get happy stuff out of the way so I can write my multi-chapter fic entitled 317 lies.

Thanks for reading. Xx


	2. A Casual Conversation

**Disclaimer**: Castle is not mine.

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Kate looked between all of her friends, each one with a different expression on their face. Javi smiling like he was still in junior high, teasing Beckett about a crush. She audibly swallowed.

"I-I was just leaving," she said quickly. She bolted for the door. Whilst fumbling with the handle she turned back to Lanie, "I'll call you later," she said. Once the door was finally open, she turned back to Castle, "And you too...obviously. 'Nite," with that, she dissappeared.

Without thinking about it for another minute, Castle leapt for the door and followed her down the hallway.

"Kate! Wait!" he yelled after her. She stopped speedwalking and turned around.

"How poetic," she said.

"What? Whatever. Stop. Can we talk?" he asked once he'd caught up to her.

"Yes we can. On the phone, later," she said as she continued speedwalking.

"Kate, come on," he practically had to jog after her. He admit it to her, but the woman was a fast walker. Before he could catch up to her again, she was out the door.

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Kate sat on her couch staring at her phone. It was 11.47pm and she figured that Lanie was probably still entertaining her guests. Deciding to go to bed, Beckett reached for her phone and jumped when it buzzed with a text from Lanie.

_Girl, Castle just left. Everyone's gone. _

Kate stared at the message for a few minutes before dialling Lanie's number.

"_Hey Kate_," Lanie answered in a teasing voice.

"Ergh," Kate groaned and feel back on her couch as though she was exhausted.

"_Well why'd you leave in such a rush tonight?_" Kate could just see the smirk on Lanie's face. It wasn't hard for her to imagine.

"Can we please just go back to my original problem? The reason I came over tonight," she tried to change the subject and avoid Lanie's teasing.

"_Oh, let's see. I asked you to wear something nice because I was inviting you over. But on the phone, you simply refused to let me get a word in_,"

"I know, it's my fault. I am sorry. Now please," she took a breath in, "How should I tell him?"

"_Uhm, aside from him hearing _you _tell_ me _you love _him? _Hmm, how about this crazy, foreign concept. _Just say it!" Lanie said sternly.

"I can't just say it Lanie. It has to be different now...somehow," Kate squinted in thought.

"_Well now that he already knows, why don't you just try and work it into conversation?" _Lanie suggested casually. "_Thats different_," she added.

"How? Like; 'Hey Castle, how's the family? Good? That's good. By the way, I love you.' Lanie, it doesn't work like that," Kate said with a chuckle.

"_You never know until you try honey_," Lanie snorted after hearing Kate's demonstration.

"Hang on a sec, I have another call coming through," Kate took her phone away from her ear to see Castle trying to call her. "Lanie, it's him. What do I do?"

"..._talk to him_..._?_" Lanie asked, though it sounded more like an order to Kate. Before she could respond, Lanie had hung up.

The phone rang and Kate stared at his number for a moment.

"You are a homicide detective," she said to herself as words of encouragement, "What is wrong with me?" she asked once she realised how long the phone had been ringing.

"Hello?" she said finally.

"_Hey it's me_," Castle's voice fled through the phone.

"Hi Castle," she greeted him and tried to sound as normal as possible.

There was silence between them for a few moments.

"Whats up?" she asked, wondering why he had called, even though she had a pretty good idea.

"..._Nothing much_," he replied with a sigh.

"Okay," Kate rolled her eyes.

"_I was just...wondering, if you- I mean, did- did you want me to come to the Precinct tomorrow? For...anything_?" he stammered.

This was the most awkward conversation Kate had shared with the man. He'd always had something to say. Some sort of remark and she would always come-back with another witty remark to shut him down. But now what?

"Yeah, I guess. I mean there's no active case so I guess if you wanted to pitch in with...some paperwork or something, I..._wouldn't mind _having you there," Kate smiled to herself as she thought about what to say next, "In fact I'd-" she paused and sighed before continuing, "I'd _love_ for you to... bring me some coffee,"

_Working it into conversation_, she thought to herself.

"_Uhm, yeah sure, if you're- yeah great, I'll be there. I should probably let you get to bed_,"

"Huh, yeah," she laughed.

"_Until tomorrow Detective_," Castle said happily.

"Love you. Bye," she pressed the 'end call' button faster than the speed of light and dropped the phone on the couch.

She had a hell of a day planned ahead.

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Follow me on Twitter FFThre3 & please let me know what you thought of this chapter. My text docs don't have spell-check, so I have tried my best to edit this but I know it will not be perfect.

Xx


	3. What's meant to be always finds a way

A/N: Okay, I wrote the first half of this chapter then got really busy and now I am back writing it again over a month later. Shout out to **andy-ho13** who motivated me with a review I received a little while ago. So thank you! This was an extremely hard chapter to write during both periods of production.

**D****isclaimer**: Castle isn't mine.

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Kate scratched her head and stared at her blank computer screen. She bit her thumb lightly out of nervousness and anticipation for Castle's arrival at the Precinct. It had been three days since she had tried to "casually" work the word love into a conversation and it had failed miserably.

After that one attempt, she consulted Lanie who hadn't really helped anyway.

When Castle came into the Precinct the next day, things weren't awkward or natural. Everything was just...as it was. Kate couldn't quite put her finger on it. So instead, she had decided to turn a blind eye to everything and basically forget it.

Kate jumped when her desk phone rang, attracting the attention of Ryan, who gave her sympathetic smile.

"Beckett," she said as she smiled back.

"Ka-ate," Lanie's voice came through the phone in a sing song tone.

"Lanie? What's up?" she ignored the tone of voice.

"You know what's up. Any updates on the...Castle situation?" Lanie said in a completely unsubtle manner.

"What situation, "Kate was trying to hold back a chuckle. She leaned back in her chair.

"Remember what I said?"

"What you said was actually really cheesy. Or corny." Beckett shrugged.

"Nuh-uh. Trisha Yearwood is neither one of those things," Lanie said playfully.

"Oh yeah, she writes very insightful country music," Kate rolled her eyes.

"What's meant to be will _always_ find a way, Kate. Don't pressure yourself, it'll happen," Lanie said reassuringly.

"Thanks Lanie," Beckett replied, despite the fact Lanie was the one encouraging her to tell Castle this entire time. She was curious as to why Lanie had suddenly changed her tune.

"Bye Hun," Lanie hung up the phone.

Beckett sighed ad stretched her arms out. Quite frankly, she was bored of waiting for Castle to arrive and she figured instead of sitting here nervously, she should continue working.

Kate stood up to go and make herself coffee in the break room. When she came back, there he was.

Castle was standing next to Ryan, hiding two coffees in each of his hands. She sighed and looked at the fresh coffee she had just made for herself.

_It'll happen._ Lanie's voice echoed through her head, rather annoyingly.

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By the end of the day, one cups of coffee couldn't keep anyone in the Precinct at a normal functioning rate, so they called it a day. Kate was feeling tired and wasn't up for any heavy conversation topics.

"So…my apartment or yours?" Castle offered.

"Sure, then we can hold hands and skip after wards," she replied sarcastically. By now they were in the elevator and on their way down.

"Oh come on," he chuckled in realization of the fact that she wasn't in the mood to talk right now. However, he couldn't help wondering why.

"Sorry Castle, I'm just really-"

"Tired. I know. But are you sure there isn't anything bothering you? You can tell me," he nudged her lightly. She hesitated for a moment.

"Yeah. Yeah, I know. Thanks," she said with a tired smile.

"Kate," he urged as they stepped out of the elevator and walked to her automobile.

"I'm fine. It's just something Lanie said earlier, that's all," she shrugged it off.

"No excuses, I'm driving," he smiled at her and motioned for the keys.

"Castle," she said with warning.

"You're tired and no offence but I would like to be…you know, _alive_ by the end of this trip," he laughed and she looked out the window, not quite used to the idea of someone else driving her car.

"What's meant to be will always find a way," she said after a long period of silence.

"Sorry?" Castle looked at her with one raised eyebrow.

"What Lanie said to me. What is meant to be will always find a way," she scoffed at how this one phrase had stick with her after such a long day.

"Okay…why would this bother you? It is true you know," he tapped one finger against the steering wheel as if to emphasize the point.

"_Wow_, I _never_ would have expected that from _you_ Castle," Kate laughed and rested her head against her left hand.

"But hey, don't you think it's true? You weren't meant to die at Montgomery's funeral, and here you are,"

"No that wasn't fate, Castle," she laughed. She didn't follow up with anything else, because she knew there was no way of convincing him and she wasn't in the mood.

"Would you mind if I put the radio on?" he asked.

"Be my guest. I am so tired right now, I wouldn't care if you joined a circus," she said with an eye roll and a small smile. After about three minutes, Castle finally settled on one station.

Kate looked at Castle when she realized which song was now playing on her radio. When Castle started singing, things only became worse for her so she sunk down in her seat.

"Tarzan & Jane were swingin' on a vine," he sang in a raspy singing voice.

"Castle, please don't," she pleaded with one hand covering her mouth in shock.

"Okay, I won't," he laughed, "But you have to admit that _Candyman_ is a catchy song!"

She merely looked at him without saying anything. He looked at her and turned away in feigned shame but she held her gaze on him a little while longer.

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A/N: Okay, I sincerely hope that nobody in this chapter is out of character. I wrote this last month but I never updated it because it wasn't finished. This is a kind of "to be continued" chapter, so the next one will pick up where this left off. My apologies to **andy-ho13, **sorry this took so long, think of this as a 'two-part' kind of thing :D Again, sorry!

Let me know what you thought of it or follow me on Twitter FFThre3


	4. Part Two

**Part Two**

**D****isclaimer**: Castle isn't mine.

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_She merely looked at him without saying anything. He looked at her and turned away in feigned shame but she held her gaze on him a little while longer. _

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"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, I'm just…thinking," she quickly turned away from him and looked out of her respective window.

"Thinking about how you managed to score such a ruggedly handsome mystery novelist?"

"No. I was thinking… Never mind,"

"Come on, you know you can tell me," he pushed

"Yeah I know. I know I can tell you anything because…" she trailed off and picked up his hand, holding it gently in hers, "because with you next to me there's no darkness I can't overcome. I know I'm not alone in anything but…"

"But what?" he asked quietly.

"But sometimes, I need to think on my own. I don't want to be co-dependent Castle. I've been on my own for most of my life and I am sorry, believe me, I am but I'm just used to it being that way," she shrugged.

"What are trying to say?" he dropped her hand and looked straight ahead at the road.

"You're getting the wrong idea now. This is why we should just drop it," she half-pleaded.

"_Drop it_? Why drop it? That's what you were thinking isn't it?" he asked calmly yet somehow aggressively at the same time.

"No! How could you say that? You're trying to make it seem like I want you to leave,"

'I don't want to leave. I'll never leave," he said gently.

When Beckett didn't say anything, Castle slowed down and pulled the car over to the side of the road. He roughly pulled the key out of the ignition.

"What? Do you have doubts or something?" he asked with his eyebrows raised.

"I never said that. I never said anything! Why are you trying to make out to be the-the perpetrator-"

'"The perpetrator? Really Kate?" he was trying to hold back laughter.

"Shut up Castle," she looked out the window so he wouldn't see her laugh, "you interrupted my-"

"I love you, Kate. You know that right?"

She paused before saying anything more, "I really need to hear that once in a while."

"Once in a while? I need to-" before he could say anything more, Beckett' phone rang. She hesitated before pressing the decline button on the caller.

Ok. I need to get some things off my chest," she stated.

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After Beckett had finished her small rant on how Castle wasn't making any sense because he was only assuming things, she started confessing.

"I'm grateful to have you by my side," she put her hand on his knee, without realising. He looked down at her hand, trying to soak in everything she'd said so far.

"Yeah, me too," he replied.

"I know it isn't easy loving me,"

"Are you kidding?" he asked.

"Let me finish," she said quickly, as though she was prepared for what he was going to say.

'Kate, let _me_ say something," he pleaded.

She paused before nodding at him, approving his request.

"Every time I see your face, my heart smiles and no it is not easy. It isn't easy hearing you say the things you're saying to me right now," he looked at her and waited for a reaction.

"So there isn't any truth in anything I've said so far at all?" she asked, with doubt lacing her tone.

"I'll never leave," he said.

"I appreciate the dedication from you to me. I really do appreciate you being there for me through my mother's case over the years. Even from the start," Beckett reluctantly admitted.

"From the start…?" he repeated.

'Your words helped me through everything before I'd even met you Castle,"

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**A/N**: I feel like I've taken some sort of risk with the events of this chapter and I'd really appreciate it if you guys could let me know what you thought of it. Are the characters totally OOC? Was this chapter totally stupid, did you hate it?


	5. Beckett's Happiness

**A/N**: This took me a really long time to write and it's not even finished yet. Sorry…

**Disclaimer**: Do not own Castle

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Beckett was happy. But like every rollercoaster that is life, hers took a plunge for the worst. After a series of events that led up to this eventual happiness that she was so deserving of, Beckett let her guard down, one of the many mistakes everybody makes when they think everything is okay.

Wrong.

Rain ceases, but never stops entirely. Like rain, misfortune ceases, but never really stops. It will always come back.

To Beckett, it came back in the form of her boyfriend, Richard Castle.

Before Beckett was aware of her misfortune, she was moving forward in her relationship with Castle. They were both coming to terms with the past, the present and the future of their relationship.

After Beckett explained how Castle's novels were important to her before they'd met, Castle explained to her his dedication to their relationship. He explained how he had waited for this and how he was not going to give up. But that somehow wasn't enough for Beckett after all that she'd said to him.

They agreed to take the next step.

It was time for Kate to pack her bags.

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Beckett arrived back at the Precinct, without Castle.

She was quickly approached by Esposito, who was eagerly waiting to give her new information on their case.

"Yo, Beckett. Ryan and I went… Are you alright?" he asked after closely examining her body language and facial expressions.

"Huh? Yeah. Yeah I'm good, actually," she replied, walking to the murder board.

"Why do you sound surprised?" he asked in confusion. At that moment, Ryan approached.

"Guys," he began but trailed off when he noticed the confused look on Espo's face and the smile that was slowly approaching on Beckett's face. "What's going on?" he asked slowly.

"I have to tell you guys something, but I think I should tell someone else first. It's no big deal but…I'm happy about it," she shrugged as she walked away from the boys.

"Lanie, I'm on my way to the morgue. I have something to tell you," she tried to make herself sound as monotone as possible.

"Just tell me over the phone," Lanie replied in an equally monotone voice.

"This isn't 'phone' news, Lanie." Beckett said as she fished out her car keys from her purse.

"I didn't know this was _news_ at all," Lanie replied slowly.

"You sound so unenthused," Kate said as she put Lanie on speaker, enabling her to drive and talk at the same time.

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired. Come on, just tell me now, I need something to distract me from all this…_work_,"

"Fine, you win. Castle and I are moving in together,"

"Girl, that is not something you just say _over the phone_!" Lanie raised her voice, however it was not loud enough to be a yell.

"Right. Okay, I'll be there soon. I'll bring you some coffee or something. Why can't you just drink coffee?" Beckett hung up and pulled into Starbucks.

She opened the door for someone and walked into the store herself, not expecting to see what she saw. The busiest Starbucks she'd seen at any time of day.

Carefully dodging people buzzing around the store, she made her way to the counter and the longest queue known to man. She peered at her watch and read the menu boards as she waited in line. A child, no taller than her knees, ran past her and almost caused her to fall. As she was regaining her balance, the child's parent quickly walked past Beckett, causing her to lose balance again.

Not far from where Kate was standing, the child bumped into an employee holding a take-away tray with cups of hot coffee. As he dropped the coffee, the worker tried his best to shield the child from the hot beverages, which left the coffee free falling on Beckett.

She caught it in time to only spill the tiniest amount of coffee on her right arm, which wasn't as hot as she was expecting. She was happy that it hadn't come in contact with her clothes, at all.

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!" the child's parent rushed in out of nowhere and took the child with her, apologising to Beckett, the employee and the basically the entire store. The employee came to Beckett's side asking if she was ok and taking the coffee from her, checking if she had any burns.

"No, I'm fine," she smiled, "Guess I'm just lucky!"

She placed her order and tried her best to avoid the rush all over again.

On her way to the morgue, Beckett saw a Golden Retriever walking with his owner, and immediately thought back to Royal. She couldn't help but wonder where he was now.

A honk from the car behind her made her jump and she quickly accelerated harder than was necessary. This caused her to be on the receiving end of more honks from other cars.

She indicated to turn right at traffic lights, so when the light turned green, she began her take off and was nearly hit by another vehicle driving straight forward. She honked at them but they ignored her. So tempted to do something about it, Beckett decided to let the person go, trying to avoid anything else bad that might come her way.

Once she'd gotten to the morgue, she parked her car and called Lanie outside, not wanting to bring Starbucks into the Morgue.

Lanie came out in a rush and panic, "You've got some explaining to do and I have something to tell you,"

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**To be continued… Obviously. **


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